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As for criticism, Just the the kick is a little too loud, and (I think this is what it is) a little drawn out. Basically, the kick sounds too much like a tone and not enough life a percussive instrument. I would try to find a bit sharper or a bit more sudden of a kick.
Also, the snare is a little too quiet, I think.
Here's an edit: I changed out the DPCM with the ones I usually use (Just as an example, not because I think everyone should use these samples and no others.) and lowered the volume of everything to help bring it out.
Some other places I've tried to conquer:
[url=http://chipmusic.org/ch3dd4r]Le Chipmusic
[url=http://battleofthebits.org/barracks/Profile/CH3DD4R/]Le BattleOfTheBits