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Since no one else responded to your thread and I find that very sad, I'd like to say I quite like what you've got so far. I'm not familiar with the original, but it feels complete as it is right now (i.e. it sounds like this could be the proper loop point). I couldn't find anything particular to complain about either, so props for that!
[quote=TechEmporium]beef[/quote]
[quote=Bradley]Super Meat Boy[/quote]
That said, this actually sounds really nice. I like the inclusion of the 'HEY' DPCM sample, it suits the piece nicely.