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Well, I'm assuming that you have a musical background in terms of theory. That said, you already understand that all sharps have equivalent flats.
C# D# E# F# G# A# B#
Are the same as
Db Eb F Gb Ab Bb C
In such programs as FamiTracker, displaying flats isn't done because it makes less work for the programmer. That said, you can always use any minor key for your songs; just write them out on paper & then transpose each flat into its equivalent sharp.
Also, about the distance between each note; this distance is a de facto standard in this sort of program. That said, all you can really do is space each note you play manually. You do this by using the arrow keys on your keyboard to move down as many lines as you need (before you type in a note). If you already typed a note, you can always space it later using the Insert key on your keyboard.
So I'll give you a little tip: I know you're making a song at 5/8 time, but know this... 4/4 time is achieved with a speed value of 6 & a tempo value of 150, but only when a quarter note lasts four lines. A half note will last 8 lines, a whole note 16, etc. Also, an eighth note will last 2 lines, a sixteenth note will last one & you won't be able to achieve other fractional notes.
Good luck with this; if you stumble on other things, we're (or at least I'm) here to help.
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Technology: the one thing that's hated & cursed at by all engineers, technologists, scientists & technicians!
No, I don't think there's a way to use alternate enharmonic spellings... but there is a way to change the spacing of the row highlights.
In the bar at the top of the screen that has the play, stop, nsf, octave, and follow mode buttons, there is a 'row highlight' and '2nd highlight' selection. Adjust those.
For the 2nd highlight option, the spacing cannot go any further than 32 if you use the arrow buttons provided only. Double-click the box and you will be able to use spacings larger than 32.