This song would be improved greatly with a noise snare (for example, 2-8-9... or 1-6-C...) and with a kick (either DPCM or 50% duty cycle square wave downward sweep or triangle downward sweep). The melodies are nice but the really really boring percussion lets it down as a whole. If you need inspiration for what you can do with percussion, I always use really really crazy noise channel stuff and I upload ftms and nsfs of all my songs (
http://soundcloud.com/patashu) so you can take a peek.
As composition is a process of producing the best
music you can with the tools you are aware of, I look forward to seeing what you come up with
