I actually liked the opening chord progression of the original island_time better than the island_time_edited. I don't think whoever did that one got the right idea of what you were going for. The rest of the edit lines up with my idea of a pleasant tune, though.
It's kind of hard for one person to know what another is really going for, though. Like... maybe you want it to be dissonant? But then again if you are asking what you did wrong maybe you don't want it to be dissonant but don't know how to "fix" it.
In that case I'd suggest studying up on music theory and harmony and intervals and junk, maybe. Or just keep making more stuff, listening to the kind of stuff that you want to make and trying to figure out what is going on.
As to trying to get a tropical feel, I'd say just add some "guitar hits" on the "&" backbeats and call it a day :3
if you want to learn how to elongate your music like commodore 64 music listen to and study commodore 64 music that you like. ditto with making your music sound 'islandy'
as for the rest of you! i want "read books, study music, don't take advice from total strangers" to be the instant response to every non-specific constructive criticism topic ever from now on!!
(unless you're recommending books/music/being contrary to make a statement about the futility of orthodoxy)
